Friday, December 15, 2006

Just in time for Christmas...

Today I found this in my email - its from wanna-baa of the comments and I post it here for your edification. Just in case you thought my "persona girl" issues were generated spontaneously in my subconscious...I give you proof that the entertainment industry is clearly in on the conspiracy to make me feel "less than".

I FOUND PERSONA GIRL! She has possessed the editor in chief of HOME magazine, as I quote verbatim from the editor's letter to her adoring public in the December 2006 edition:

Yule Rules
For a fulfilling -- and low-stress-- holiday season, I've learned to keep things simple. I serve rich foods sparingly -- come January, I'd rather be thinking about global gain (volunteering and donating) than personal loss (weight). I only invite guests I care deeply about, and never more than 10 of them at a time -- large gatherings can leave me physically overtired and spiritually undernourished.

To spark a festive atmoshere at home, I just add a few rousing touches of color -- mostly reds and golds in sync with my overall decore. And I fill my rooms with exhilarating live music by having folks over who, like me, love to sing and play instruments. As gifts (to bestow or receive), I favor items yielding memorable experiences, not objects, which foster clutter. The only exceptions are works of art created by friends and family. My rule: Whenever I'm given something I relish enough to hang on to, I give away something I already own.

In this issue, we offer lots of ways to make your festivities more focused and rewarding. Please pay special attention to our article about the 2006 Shelter Award winners: extraordinary people with causes worthy of your support." Donna Sapolin, Editor-in-Chief.

1) PUKE.
2) I'm never buying this magazine again. Ever. Or being nice to anyone named Donna.
3) Do you think she would consider the mustache and wart I've drawn on her picture as A Work Of Art Worthy Of Throwing Out Something She Already Owns?
4) Where do I sign up to be the fly on the wall that gets to watch the agony of the three boring friends who couldn't make up a good enough excuse to NOT come to the singing-praise-to-Donna party
5) I thought only royalty and deities "bestowed" things any more. I'm surprised she didn't write it in the "We" (is that 3rd person possessive? I forget, too dazzled by her gold & red aura).

I would like to add that I hope this woman isn't a knitter because you just know she'd only knit using silk-cashmere blend - the most spiritually nourishing of all the available wools (ymmv).

Note: If you are named Donna and you happen to knit, I am sure that wanna-baa would be happy to make an exception for you provided you can keep the bestowing to a minimum.


Carmen said...

gggaaaggg!!! Save your money, never, ever buy that mag-rag again. Why bother?

Jeanne said...

Too funny! Thanks for sharing it - I had a good laugh.

Renee said...

Ewwww. That was brutal. Bruuuuutal. I'll keep my clutter, holiday pounds, tacky decorations and Christmas music on CD. I'm betting I'm a happier person than she'll ever be.