Kitten therapy

Damn it…must frog.

Yup – Alex’s colour block sweater front is an inch short…actually there’s more wrong with it than than that…and I need to figure out how the hell I’m going to deal with it…

I wish I had a camera to show how ridiculously off it all is, but I don’t. Basically I need to rip down below the neck shaping and re-knit the neck and shoulder…and start the shoulder shaping an inch higher. I have no idea if this will work but I have my fingers/toes/legs and eyes crossed in the hopes it will work. The worst part is discovering this at the blocking stage…i.e. I thought I was done! Just the neck edge and terrible no good very bad zipper and seams. Done! Alas…

In other news…therapy was very very very upsetting. I gather this is a good thing. I can see Martha Stewart.

Martha: “And then I cried at therapy. It’s a good thing.”

All because of my cat. And because I have needs but I don’t know what they are because I can’t have them because having needs means I’m a bad person. So I rebel…and then I have needs that spill out everywhere and then I spend money. And I get a kitten. Then I get anxious. Crying in therapy ensues.

And therapist is happy because I’m getting to know myself better and recommends being curious about it instead of pulled into anxiety and big emotions.

And I just feel sad. Because my sister never stopped asking for things and it caused so much fighting that I became a good girl who didn’t need things the way she did. Because my ex couldn’t express his own needs so I couldn’t have them either.

I can’t wait to get home and stroke my kitten.