Monday, January 22, 2007

Life is just REALLY boring…

So I don’t generally do meme’s…but I couldn’t resist asking Leanne for a letter…and its an R. Ironically, I can think of a lot more R things that don’t apply than do. For example: right – as in right of centre or even correct most of the time. So in coming up with a list of ten R words that describe me, I’ve taken some liberties to talk about how some words don’t describe me.

1. Realistic. Um…not. At least I’d like to be less realistic or pragmatic. I am pragmatic out of necessity not desire. If I were independently wealthy I’d be FAR less realistic.

2. Living in Real-time is a challenge for me. I often am looking ahead, fantasizing about being somewhere else or living in memory. Sitting down and enjoying the moment is something I find really difficult. I suspect this issue is what contributes to my feeling that life is either passing me by, or I’m missing something.

3. Rational. Mostly although sometimes I am surprised when I consider that most of my major life decisions were based on instinct. Job changes are a good example. Because I work for government in an internal service I have a lot of mobility to move from department to department. I have squeezed my way out of a number of growing from bad-to-worse situations (usually involving a management change with a trickle down effect). I also managed to get pregnant and realize my ex was expressing his feelings elsewhere on instinct. I like to think that my instincts are attuned to a pretty rational side of me…else I’d be in real trouble!

4. Ready. For something…though I’m not sure what exactly.

5. Restaurants. I just asked the random word generator for a word and reloaded until I got an R-word. I do love a good restaurant. I have recently discovered a fantastic Indian take-out place near me. Anything that involves someone else preparing the food and cleaning up the dishes is a good thing in my books.

6. Random - proceeding, made, or occurring without definite aim, reason, or pattern. Kind of like my brain although I have this feeling that there is a certain amount of logic and patterning that I prefer not to examine too closely. Like why I could live on cookies even if they make me feel icky. Why I can knit a shawl but emptying the litter box is chore I prefer to avoid. Why at one point in my life I was desperate for a job where I was important enough to rate an invitation to attend meetings, but now that I have one I’d do anything to get out of them.

7. Ramble. I like to ramble. See 6 above.

8. Relationships. Now here I could really ramble. Right now I am in a space where I look at the relationships I have (a few very good friends, many acquaintances) and I wonder why it is that I have such an easy time letting people go. I really do. I go to a job, make good friends, but then find it a major challenge to keep them after the fact. I suspect it is because I am very much affected by others – I either come out of my shell and can access my own humour and quirkiness or people make me feel tired and I can’t really talk around them.

9. Rare – its how I like my steak. I am very particular about this. When barbequing I generally implore the cook (usually male) to introduce my steak to the flame but not really let them get too acquainted. The (usually male) cook is often disappointed because my preference does not allow for demonstration of skill in achieving the perfect cross cut grill markings or prowess in achieving medium-rare. Still, these people should be grateful I let them cook my meat at all – I only cook it because other people around the table don’t appreciate watching me eat raw steak. Plus it’s a bit warm, which I suppose is a good thing.

10. Resolved…does NOT describe me. I kind of bend whichever way the wind is blowing. I am never truly resolved about anything. Except about my steak being rare. And wanting my kids to turn out okay.

2 comments:

jeanne said...

Interesting meme. I was just reading an article that said your normal brain state at rest is when you think about the past or future - so its not just you! I'm with you on restaurants, but do like my steak a bit more done!

Heather said...

Great Meme! I think I might do it as well, though I think I'll need a dictionary by me as well.

I relate entirely to your experiences with "Realistic", and the challenge of "Real-Time". I often sit daydreaming about a future or about my past. The present just never seems interesting enough!